Thursday, September 24, 2009

9. The Witches of Breastwick

No, I'm not talking about the softcore sex romp with the fantastic pneumatic Julie K. Smith. This is about the debut of ABC's newest show 'Eastwick.'

Based on 'The Witches of Eastwick' (which itself was based on the book 'The Witches of Eastwick,' which itself was based on the short-lived TV show 'Combat!'), it follows the lives of three women as they discover they have magical powers. Each of the women have an unfulfilled hole in their lives, and one sunny day they each make a wish to have something exciting happen. Apparently "something exciting" means "summoning up Old Scratch" because that's what happens. The Devil comes down to Eastwick, looking for a little poon to steal.
We've got Rebecca Romijn-- Romji-- Ramen-- uh, the chick who left Uncle Jesse to marry the 'Sliders' guy as Roxanne, the cougarish artist who lives in a fabulous but falling apart home. Apparently her magical power is seeing the future. She's got a daughter, and a young piece of boytoy on the side. In fitting with the title of this piece, her breasts are always hanging out.

Next up is Lindsay Price as Joanna, a reporter who plays the prerequisite mousey-chick-in-glasses-who-becomes-a-stone-cold-hottie-once-she-lets-her-hair-down. She's got no one in her life but a best friend and a pining for a local photographer. Her power seems to be getting men to do whatever she wants by looking in their eyes. Once she starts realizing her potention, that's when she whips out the puppies.

The third of the trio is Kat, played by Jamie Lee Newman. She's a nurse with a family. The children seem okay but her husband is a drunken layabout who seems perfectly content to stay unemployed. Her power seems to be more elemental in nature, creating earthquakes and lightning strikes. She stays reserved through the story, letting the cleavage out only when she's partying with the Devil. However, since she's a married mom ABC apparently thought it best for her character to put a promo over her goodie-bag to lessen any view of impropriety.

The last member of our group is Beezlebub. Ol' Scratch. The Dark One himself. Aka Daryl Van Horne, who you can tell is evil because he leaves his prior residence (numbered 666, ha ha ha) to come to Eastwick. He's also got a big-ass "D" ring. He's played by Paul Gross, trying to invoke some of the Jack Nicholson humor and talent and doing a far better job than Michael Siberry did in the awful 1992 attempt at a TV series (oddly enough, written by Carlton Cuse who went on to do *gasp* 'Lost!').

ABC is clearly trying to follow the lead of "Lost" here. As always networks seem to take one or two aspects of a successful series and use it as a hook to draw viewers into another show. "Lost" is serialized? We'll make "Eastwick" serialized, the audience will love it! It's a harmless little piece of fluff; a 'Charmed' for over-30 women.

The story itself was a nice little introduction, with a small bit of curious casting. Veronica Cartwright (the chick who got raped by the Alien) plays a local historican who gets mysteriously attacked by ants and ends up in the hospital. She warns Kat that evil is coming and has been to Eastwick before. Considering how none of the main characters share the same names as the ones from the movie, I'm wondering if this might not end up being a sequel to the flick. Cartwright plays the same crazy-ass sort of person she did in the movie. But her name is different; not to mention her character died in the movie. But that could be explained away I suppose.

All in all, not an awful show. It'll need to make an impact if it wants to continue for an entire season. My guess? An early renewal for 12 episodes, with a slim chance for a full season's worth of shows. But it'll take more than just the impressive winnebagos of Ms. Ex-Uncle Jesse to earn it a second year.

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